Why You Can’t “Just Do It”: Understanding the ADHD Motivation Gap

You know exactly what you need to do, but you can’t seem to move. Your to-do list is staring you down. You wonder, “Am I just lazy? This isn’t even that difficult. Why can’t I just do the thing?”

Sound familiar?

We often see clients at our clinic who struggle with this frustrating gap between intention and action. Feeling stuck and overwhelmed, our clients tend to label themselves as being “lazy” or “undisciplined.” In this post, we’ll share a simple metaphor—the Motivation Bridge—and how we help clients move from wanting to doing with ADHD-friendly supports: a healthy sense of urgency, a touch of novelty, and genuine interest. You don’t have to “try harder”; you can build motivation on purpose.

The Motivation Bridge

Metaphor for Action

In a video titled “ADHD and Motivation”, Jessica McCabe (2020), the creator of the “How to ADHD” YouTube channel, shares a metaphor that compares getting a task done to crossing a bridge. On one side of the chasm, there’s wanting to do the thing. On the other side, there’s actually doing the thing. For most people, motivation is the bridge that helps them cross that gap. 

This metaphorical Motivation Bridge is typically built by using motivational planks like “This is important”, “I want to do this”, “This would make _____ proud”, and “I promised I would do this.” Of course, not every bridge is perfect as there are bound to be gaps in people’s motivation bridges. However, for the neurotypical population, those gaps tend to be smaller and more easily overcome by sheer willpower. But we’re not talking about the neurotypical experience here.

Managing Performance Gaps

Dr. Russell Barkley (2009), a top leader in ADHD research and treatment, describes ADHD as such: “This is not information deficit disorder. This is performance deficit disorder.” In other words, it’s not that people with ADHD don’t know what to do; it’s that there is a very real gap between knowing what to do and having the self-regulation tools to be able to do what you need to do. So what are those tools that can help fill in the missing motivation planks to cross the Motivation Bridge?

The Missing Planks

Make It Urgent

If you’ve ever procrastinated (who hasn’t?), then you’re naturally creating a greater sense of urgency. However, last-minute panic isn’t the healthiest motivator. There are other ways to create positive pressure for motivation. Accountability can be a major help with this. This can be as simple as “body-doubling” or letting a friend know that you’ll have a task done by a certain time. Even setting a timer to see how much you get done within a certain time limit can create this sense of urgency. Pro-tip: If you’ve been wanting to clean your house, then a classic trick is to invite guests over.

Make It New

Repetitive tasks can become stale quite easily, which is why it’s a good idea to change at least one thing about those tasks. You can brainstorm creative ways to do this in therapy or search online. For example, McCabe (2020) shared in her video that she struggled to do laundry until she learned new ways to fold laundry (shoutout to Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix; 2018). If you can’t change the task itself, try changing the environment in which you do it (e.g., take your laptop to a coffee shop or a park!).

Make It Interesting

It’s easier to engage with something that’s interesting for you. (Mind. Blown.) Yes, this is basically a universal experience, but it’s more impactful for people with ADHD. Dr. Barkley (2009) mentions this when he talks about “time blindness.” Basically, time blindness means that long-term rewards are often too far away to be effective (e.g., a good grade at the end of a semester is too far away to help me get my homework done right now). That’s why immediate rewards are more effective and can help make tasks engaging. For example, you can listen to your favorite music or podcast while doing the dishes. You can have a planned break after doing something for 30 minutes. Or put on a show in the background while doing homework. Here’s another pro-tip: don’t pick a show that’s too new or engaging for you. Otherwise, your task will have to compete with something more interesting

Different, Not Lesser

Living with a motivation gap is hard, and it wears down confidence. But you’re not broken, and you’re certainly not lesser than. The ADHD brain is neurologically different from a neurotypical one, but it’s just that: different. All that means is that solutions that work wonderfully for others might be different than solutions that work for you. Dealing with ADHD while navigating a world built for neurotypical minds is naturally going to be a frustrating experience at times, but the presence of challenges does not mean that you are dumb, lazy, or hopeless.

Instead of judging ourselves or others, we can be curious about what’s going on. Therapy can help do away with those unhelpful, shaming thoughts you might be having by providing a supportive place to understand yourself better. You don’t have to figure it out alone. At our therapy practice, we echo dodie's sentiment from her song “Ready Now” (2019): “I will listen; tell me it all. You don’t like the ending? Then we’ll find one that’s yours.”

If you’re curious about working with a therapist, we’re here to help you experiment, learn, and build your own Motivation Bridge—one plank at a time.

References

Barkley, R. A. (2009, May 30). The 30 essential ideas every parent needs to know to understand and raise a child with ADHD [Playlist; 27 videos]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzhbAK1pdPM&list=PLzBixSjmbc8eFl6UX5_wWGP8i0mAs-cvY 

dodie. [doddleoddle]. (2019, April 29). Ready now- original song | dodie (for MOOMINVALLEY) [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnVS28_KSVc 

McCabe, J. [How to ADHD]. (2020, January 21). ADHD and motivation [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM0Xv0eVGtY 

Netflix. (2018, December 12). Tidying up with Marie Kondo | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvyeapVBLWY